Angel Feathers
by Hipster Canada
Summary: Gabriel has given him too much already. Sam can't accept any more. Sabriel twoshot drabble, inspired by Tumblr anon.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Thank you to a WONDERFUL tumblr anon for giving me this AU~**_

_**My Supernatural-muse will not shut it's cake-trap for all the coaxing in the world.**_

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There were feathers everywhere.

Feathers scattered across the bedroom, filling old shoeboxes and trailing out of the waste bin. They were once beautiful. Long and lush and silken, arrayed in a hundred shades of tan and brown. They had once glowed with angel grace. Not anymore. There were dozens of them, hundreds even, scattered around Sam's apartment and every one of them was now scorched, burned, and blackened: mere skeletons of what they had once been. Angel feathers were revered as sacred objects. It was said that the grace contained in a single angel feather was enough to save a human soul and give it a direct link upstairs when the time came. Or that's what Gabriel had told him, anyway. Right before Sam had accepted the incredible gift. Right before it had burst into flame in the palm of his hand. And that was just the first feather.

"Just stop, Gabriel!"

"Take it, Sam," the angel shot back, thrusting yet another long, slim feather toward the tall man.

"No!" Sam shouted, taking a step back. He refused to take another feather from Gabriel. The scorched feathers filling his apartment were proof that Gabriel had already tried to give Sam more than he deserved. How much of the angel's grace had burned up while he tried to "save" Sam? "Gabe! Don't you get it? I can't be saved! It won't matter how many feathers you give me, it isn't going to work. I've done too much crap in my life. I've screwed over way too many people and committed way too many sins. I can't be saved, Gabriel."

"Everyone can be saved, Sammy," Gabriel said. His voice was pleading. He was begging Sam to listen. "You think a stupid human could do something too big for my dad to fix? Come on, Sam."

Sam shook his head. "No. No, I won't. Stop giving me your feathers, Gabe, please. Stop before you lose your wings entirely. It isn't doing either of us any good."

"I'll never stop," the angel returned stubbornly, his eyebrows drawing together at the crease in his forehead. "Sam... you don't get it, do you?"

"I get it," Sam said. "I do. You want to save me. But you can't, Gabriel. No one can."

Gabriel shook his head and stepped closer. "No, Sam. It's not about 'saving' you. This is so much more than that. You know what the feathers mean, don't you?"

Sam frowned, shrugging his shoulders. "They hold tiny pieces of your grace."

Gabriel stared at Sam for a long moment, surveying him with the tiniest hint of sadness. "In ancient times, angels would sacrifice a feather for a human who showed enormous potential. Whatever kind of potential they decided they liked, but _potential_." Gabriel paused, looking down at the floor for a few seconds. "I can't see your face, Sam. I don't look at you and see the same thing you see when you look in the mirror. I don't see what Dean and Bobby see when they look at you." Gabriel looked back up and stared straight into Sam's eyes. "I see your soul, Sam. I see that light that makes up the essence of who you are. It tells me everything I need to know about you, Sammy."

"Then you know it's broken," Sam said harshly. "It's broken. Dirty. I have demon blood in me, Gabe. There's no saving me. There never has been and there will never be."

"News flash, Winchester," Gabriel interrupted. "I'm not really sure what Dad made those things out of, but it's some kind of super-Kevlar-formula. Your soul's damaged, sure. It has stains and it has chips and it's imperfect. Sam, that's what makes it beautiful. Knowing everything you've been through and seeing how you keep going, regardless of _everything_. You are a good man, Sam Winchester. We don't have to see your soul to know that, either. I see your potential, Sam. Just like my brothers and sisters have been seeing since the beginning of time in other people who didn't know why they were chosen to be saved, either."

"I don't deserve that," Sam said quietly, his gaze meeting Gabriel's.

Gabriel sighed loudly. "You're missing the _point_, Sam! Do you want to know why I keep giving you feathers? Because _I_ think you deserve it! Because I love you, you dick!"

Sam was quiet for a long time, not really meeting Gabriel's gaze. "I don't..."

"Shut up, Sam," Gabriel said tiredly. He stepped closer, and now the two were almost chest to chest. "Look. I know you don't think my feathers are doing any good. Maybe they aren't. Maybe my grace is finally burning out after centuries spent hiding from heaven. Haven't you ever heard the expression '_It's the thought that counts_'? Doesn't the thought count, Sam?"

Sam smiled faintly. "Yeah. It does count. I just wish they didn't spontaneously combust whenever I hold one."

Gabriel smiled up at Sam. "That is kind of a downer. At least they don't combust when they're still attached."

Sam's smile grew a little. "That would complicate things a lot."

Gabriel chuckled. "One more?" Seeing the look on Sam's face, he quickly added "Hey, it's not like I can stick it back on. This'll... this will be the last one. I promise."

Sam sighed but hesitantly nodded. Gabriel tucked a long, white feather into Sam's hand. The taller man braced himself, waiting for it to burst into flame. But it didn't. He looked up, confused, and saw Gabriel smiling. "I was hoping that would be a special one," Gabriel admitted. "I don't have many white ones."

"It isn't turning to ash in my hand," Sam observed, somewhat awed by the fact. He turned it over and over in his hands, studying it, memorizing it. It glowed faintly white with residual angel grace. Sam could almost feel it, like a warm, comforting feeling in his chest. Maybe it was just the gesture of the gift itself.

"Keep it, Sam," Gabriel requested softly. "It will remind you that I believe in you."

Sam bent and kissed Gabriel soundly. "Thank you," he murmured softly.

Gabriel only smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: The tumblr anons have attacked, leaving me with precious little feels not sobbing on the floor beside my muse. This oneshot has turned into a two-shot thanks to a related prompt from such fabulous tumblr anons as have found me in my little corner, vainly clutching Sabriel and the love of writing to my bosom. You have figured out my weakness. I have figured out a way around the writer's block. It is a lovely compromise. Enjoy the second half, my lovelies**_

_**BUT FIRST DID ANYONE SEE THOSE GORGEOUS SKELETAL WINGS ON 9.02 TONIGHT? *dies bcs the wings on Supernatural are absolutely my #1 weakness***_

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Sam stared in disbelief as Gabriel's precious white feather turned to ash at his feet. He'd worn it on a cord around his neck for months now, reveling in the way it felt smooth and ticklish on his chest. It made him feel like there was something in him that could be redeemed. Like the feather was a promise that Sam had clung to for the past three months. In a way it was. Gabriel's promise to Sam that he'd never give up on him, that he'd always believe in him, always love him, and never, ever stop telling him that he was worth saving.

The feather died on the ground, and it seemed like all of Sam's positive thoughts died with it. Like they were directly tethered to the single white feather that still glowed faintly with Gabriel's grace. Or at least it had.

One mistake. It took one stupid sin, one stupid lie to undo whatever precarious erasure the grace feathers had done for the solid black of his sins in his soul. One mistake, and suddenly Sam was no longer able to touch the white feather hanging from his neck without incinerating it. Once it lit, Sam tore it from it's cord and watched it fall burning to the ground.

Sam couldn't take it. He swore, turning and running. He couldn't be saved. He wasn't worth saving. Gabriel was wrong. The only potential Sam held was the potential to fail, and that had blossomed far beyond potential into the professional stages of disaster.

He ran for a while. Aimlessly, unsure where he planned to go, only knowing he had to get away. Away from the feather he had finally managed to kill, away from the people he would only end up ruining, away from his mistakes, away from Lucifer, away from everything. But then he got tired.

He returned to his apartment, tired and depressed and empty and lonely. He unlocked the door, not even bothering to flip on the lights. His eyes were barely open anyway. He'd probably been crying, but he wouldn't admit it. He kicked off his shoes as he headed for his room, the only thought he would allow in his mind that of his bed. Everything else had been thought and rethought and hashed out in his mind countless times since the feather incident.

The soft glow emanating from under his bedroom door caught him off guard. Frowning, Sam grabbed hold of the doorknob and pushed open the door. The sight that met his eyes made his jaw drop and his eyes widen in surprise and amazement.

The feathers were glowing. Every one of them. All the feathers Gabriel had sacrificed and given to Sam. All the feathers that had burned up on contact with Sam's skin. The feathers that had accumulated in the corners of Sam's bedroom and wastebasket. They all looked like new, like they had never encountered Sam's sins and perished at the touch. Feathers glowed from every corner, softly illuminating the whole room. And in the middle, lying casually across the bed, staring fondly at the Winchester, was Gabriel.

"H-how...?" Sam began. Gabriel smiled warmly.

"A little trick I figured out," Gabriel said. "A old Enochian spell. It channels regenerative grace into lost appendages. They're not full powered grace balls anymore, but at least they look pretty," Gabriel smirked.

"So when I touch them..." Sam began.

"They're not going to flambe themselves," Gabriel finished. He snapped his fingers and a glass of wine appeared in each of his hands. He passed one to Sam. "I'm sorry they won't help you anymore," Gabriel admitted. "For what it's worth... I really do think you're worth saving, Sam. Even if your soul is irredeemable by angel grace."

Sam allowed his lips to quirk up into a tiny smile. "That's worth everything to me, Gabe."

Gabriel grinned and pulled Sam closer. "Hey, don't spill," Sam warned, holding his glass aloft. Gabriel rolled his eyes and snapped, the glasses of wine disappearing. Sam smirked. "That was a bit pointless, wasn't it?"

"Romantic though, wasn't it?" Gabriel asked. He pulled down fully down onto the bed beside him and what the two did in the glow of angel feathers that night was between them.


End file.
